Dr. Weird Wizard of Wonders

  • Dungeon Master

    A powerful Wizard with a mysterious past, he has taken it upon himself to help protect the fabric of the multiverse, sometimes he calls upon his Heroes for Hire or his Defenders for to help him accomplish these tasks, find powerful artifacts to help him further his goals, or save the lives of innocents that he himself can't help (even he can't be in two places at once). One day he will call upon you adventurer, will you answer?

  • THEFT OF THE PHOENIX - Slur Your Role XXXVII - 8/13/17

    entree dayt - Orctober 2, 5

    Deer diaree:
    AAAHHH take brake from smash to find food in town, find small hoomans reeding sign on wall. Hoomans ask AAAHHH if want smash for gold. AAAHHH like smash and like gold, so ok. Hoomans take AAAHHH 2 bar wher glowy hole suck AAAHHH in. Than AAAHHH find beardy wizard man who offer give gold and magic toy if we borro giant egg from birdy-peepul. Normally AAAHHH not big fan of fancee mageic, toooo many long wurds to think or boom in AAAHHH's face. Butt (huh huh huh) AAAHHH make accepshun for beardy wizard man since AAAHHH no idea how get home. Also got deelishus meed from beardy.

    New paragraff! Beardy wizard man run off fite dragon thing and bam! sudennlly AAAHHH in dessert with fellow respektable barbearian, shiny armor nite, mumbul man, sneeky sneek, and 2 shifty eye peepul who shot shinee lite. of certen AAAHHH proceed to down swirlee meed and AAAHHH get taller! Other peepul drink meed and then lowd exploshun bring berd-peepul who AAAHHH want smash. Sadly, 1 shifte-eye make boreing talk to birdy-Fred and he tak us into big castle.

    Birdee not so bad after all. he show us trap and castle sinse we inspektors. AAAHHH no no he was inspektor butt (huh huh huh) things tooo complikated to ask kwest-shuns. Birdy take us 2 c big big birdee which change into mutant birdy and tri be scaree. AAAHHH no scared. AAAHHH smash big big birdy and oops no more hed. Littel birdy-Fred take us deep into castel wher big fall with bitey-fish. AAAHHH hate bitey fish....hard to smash. Sum body have big fly, so all party tooke big fly away from big fall.

    Fly land and AAAHHH keep explor and find giant egg! sum littel birdy-bird zap friend birdy-Fred and he die, so AAAHHH try smash birdy bird. Mumbul man make litening birdy go poof so AAAHH settel for other shinee birdy birds. Others help tooo AAAHHH guess.... 1 shinee bird try steel egg from AAAHHH and that not cool. Cowerd trap start fill room with bitey-fishey-water. AAAHHH thankfull 4 spektabel barbearian who takkul bad birdy so AAAHHH cud smash birdy. Then AAAHHH grab egg and run and run and run sum mor. Then fly on fly. Zappy bird die at sum point, but AAAHHH just run. No like bitey-fishy-water. Then POP, back to beardy wizard man.

    Beardy give shiney gold and necklice which suppoosadlee fix AAAHHH wounds. Pretty gud smash. AAAHHH work for beardy agin. Get more smash!

  • Dungeon Master

    @aaahhh 1000 xp to the incredibly literate Orc with the large axe!

  • What Nooni Remembers

    Ariela – Rachael
    Mumbles – Tom
    Mua’dib –Seth
    Sanity – Jayne
    Dra’ool – Jason
    Aaahh - Richard

    I find myself summoned to Dr. Weird again, always a good time. Former compatriots and new greet me as we plummet towards his abode. Upon arrival his assistant greets us and takes us through to the library? Study? Whatever. His little three headed dog is lounging around and Mua’dib as always gleefully greets it. Dr. Weird gives the run down. Some special egg he just has to have. Gives us the good healing potions and false life potions and zaps us there.

    We are, I’m informed, on another plane. A world with two suns and us in the middle of a vast desert. There is a boulder near us Mua’dib and Aaahh jump upon it to see if we can find the temple. They do then we begin drinking the wild magic potion that Dr. Weird just happened to have lying around that he hoped we could document the effects of for him. Aaahh drank first, but if you wish to know all that occurred you will have to appeal to Dr. Weird himself. However if I remember correctly Sanity still has two potions. And sadly or perhaps not, none of the effects were permanent. They were however very noticeable and attracted the attention of the guards.

    While I was recovering from the effects of the last potion I drank two bird people came around to find out what was going on. They spoke nothing I knew, however Sanity came through for us as always. She was able to speak to them, as were some others in our company, and convinced them that we were not only worshipers of this egg of theirs, but that we were here to inspect their facility and make sure our egg was properly protected.

    Fred and James, our new friends, took us through on a guided tour of their temple. Pointing out all the traps, where the guards were, the quickest route through the temple and the pass phrase to get past the Foo dogs. We came to a chamber with a large bird in a nest. It seemed to have a certain intelligence because it didn’t believe Fred when he told it we were inspectors. It transformed into a fiend, a four legged bird monster, and proceeded to attack us. Fred and James seemed concerned but we reassured them that we would test the defenses of this room and if it were not up to snuff we would get a better one for the eggs protection. We defeated it. I of course grabbed a little extra shiny from its nest.

    Fred and James continued to lead us further. The next room contained a 100 ft. deep pit filled with water and “bitey fish”. Dra’uul used his magic fly to ferry us down one at a time. The guards were quite impressed at our preparedness for our inspection. They led us up a ramp to the egg room and their boss, a black bird person and his four armored guards. He looked at Fred and James with disgust before lightning blasting them to death. Then the battle began, Mumbles banished the boss somewhere, for about a minute as we discovered, so we were able to focus on taking out his guards. We cut them down one at a time with minimal difficulty. One of them tried to make a break for it with the egg but we were able to stop him and retrieve the egg before the boss reappeared. Although when he took the egg it triggered a geyser of water to spring forth from the wall, which Mumbles temporarily stopped. Before leaving the room he reopened the geyser and shortly after that the boss reappeared. So we all sort of legged it running from water, and a pissed off magical bird boss. Escaping one by one on the Fly, and successfully killing the boss before escaping. We were then teleported back to Dr, Weird for our just rewards.

    I gave him a list of all the things those potions did and who used them, as well as a walk through of that temple in case he needs to go there again someday. We then retrieved our new magic items and gold before being sent back to wherever.

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